My Story…

Hello everyone! This is my story…

First of all, the hubby and I dated when we were early teenagers. We then got back together after several years and married. He is my soul mate. 🙂

The hubby and I have ben going through infertility for 16 years. I have PCOS.  I went on Clomid in 1998 and fell pregnant with first round, only to miscarry by the 6th week. I had a hard time dealing with it and waited until 2004 to start Clomid treatments again. 6 rounds and nothing happened. We were just getting ready to start infertility treatments again when suddenly our house flooded and we had to move out for 6 weeks. I stopped temping and decided we would wait until we moved back in to get started. 4 weeks later I noticed that I was extremely tired and thought the stress was getting to me. One day they were working on the house (we were partly back in) so, I went to Kroger to pick up some stuff just to waste time before I had to go to work and seen pregnancy tests really cheap and the first thing I thought was ” I can’t be pregnant…can I?”. Well, after walking around a bit I decided to buy one of those test just to get it off my mind. Going through so long of infertility, the last thing I needed was the sadness that comes with the thought of being pregnant…and NOT being pregnant. Well, ended up stopping by Zaxby’s for lunch, while waiting for them to call my name, I decided to do the test. I figured if I done the test then, it wouldn’t be on my mind while working. You can imagine the shock I felt when the test showed that I was PREGNANT!!!!

Now, the pregnancy had some early scares. I spotted several times but, the ultrasound kept showing heartbeat was good. I started showing early and being I was scared of miscarriage, I didn’t start getting really excited until after the first trimester. I figured once I was past 13 weeks…everything was fine. I had an easy pregnancy. I had extreme fatigue but slight nausea. Once I was in the second trimester, I was feeling great with lots of energy and not many displeasing symptoms. I did find out that I was a diabetic that was not caused by the pregnancy, so, I couldn’t just eat anything that I wanted. Besides that everything was GREAT. Then the day before my birthday, I started leaking. I called the nurse and she told me that it was more than likely urine. I told her that I did not think it was urine. She told me that I had an appointment the next day for my 20 week ultrasound and just to kind of take it easy, she said I didn’t have to go on bed rest or anything like that though. The next day when I got into the ultrasound, I told the tech about the leaking, she looked and said everything was fine. She said the fluid around the baby was good and it was a BOY!!! We were so excited! My sister was with me too. She then looked lower and said “hmmm…let me get your dr to look at this.”. Now I just got told everything was great and I was feeling good about things but her tone made me worried. Dr. came in and said she wanted to do a pelvic exam…Once she was done she says “im so sorry, I need to see you and your husband in my office.”.  That was the beginning of the worst days of my life. In the office she told us that the sac was ballooning out of the cervix and I needed to immediately go to L&D and that there was hope but it was small. While in L&D I was seen by a specialist that said I would be put into the Trendelenburg position in hopes that the sac might go back in by the next day and can have an emergent cerclage placed. The next day when the specialist came in and redid the ultrasound they said there was no change and could not do the cerclage. The only choices we had was to induce labor, knowing that I was a day shy of 20 weeks and there was no way possible for the baby to live, or strict bedrest. We decided that we needed to do all that we could, so we decided the bedrest. We had a choice to stay in the hospital or go home. I live close by so we decided to go home. When I got home, I got in bed and hubby gave me all of my antibiotics and meds to stop contractions. I wasnt having but a few contractions and most of them I didn’t even feel. They told me that I could only get up to go to the restroom, but we decided that hubby was helping with bed pans in the hospital and he wanted to continue to maybe give us more hope. Now, the specialist in the hospital said we had hope but it was really really bad and didn’t look good. Later that night…I started having painful contractions but they were all over the place. 15 min…5 min…22 min apart. Almost as fast as the contractions started, my water broke. We headed back to the hospital and was told I was in labor and there was nothing that could be done. My contractions had stopped and they gave me meds to start them but they were not working. It took until the next afternoon to get labor started. I had a hard time pushing the baby out and was later told that I have an extremely small pelvis and would need a C-section with next pregnancy. I had baby Noah and he was stillborn at 20 weeks. He was so tiny and we got to hold him. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through and I am so thankful that my sister and brother n law was there with us during this time. I was told that I defiantly have an incompetent cervix and would need the cerclage along with the P17 shots and bedrest in my next pregnancy. We do want to get pregnant again…Soon! I am in my late 30’s and do not want to wait. The dr has assured us that if we have fertility problems again that she will be there to help us get pregnant again. I am now 4 weeks postpartum and awaiting my menses, so that we can see if I will start back ovulating or not. I am very lucky to have so many people share their stories to let me know that I am not alone. Family, friends, and even friends from Facebook that I have never met has been a great support to me. We have not had to go through this alone. I know that God must have needed Noah for a special reason and is watching over us to help us through this time too.

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2 thoughts on “My Story…

  1. Your story sounds identical to mine. I have PCOS and had fertility issues. I lost my baby girl to IC on July 21, 2012. I would love to connect with you.

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